"This is what you love. This is what you live for. You're supposed to be enjoying this". My brain whispers furiously to My body. "You're not working as you are meant to".
"I know I am supposed to be". My
body answers back wearily. "I am trying to work but I'm not and I am
tired of doing things just because you say so. I am sorry if I have
"How can you be tired?" My brain asks, puzzled at
the thought. "You're still young and this is what it's all about. It's
about the highs, the thrill and the heat of that little touch, that
contact however hard or soft".
My Body replies angrily, "I know
I'm young but that does not stop me from feeling older than my years. I
am tired and I need to recover from the daily grind but you never let
me. You never let me rest from anything".
"I need to recover
from those long work days. I need to recover from those real early
mornings to those late late nights. I need to recover from those days
of way too much sleep and those days of much too little. From your
pursuit of some idealistic perfect body to your enjoyment of decadence.
that trauma you had me go through but did not let me rest from. I
understood your need to hide, to be strong and I allowed you to lead,
thinking you'll soon let me rest but you didn't. In your selfishness
you didn't understand that I needed time to stop and heal.
to recover from the cold. From the heat, aches and pain, the bruises.
I know we have to keep going, that life does not stop just because I am
unwell but you need to also take care of me I rely on you more that I
Do you think I don't miss it? Miss the highs, the thrill
the feel of it all? Of course I do. But all that will have to wait
until I recover from everything you put me through".